Hands down the biggest mental obstacle to tackle in those first few weeks of motherhood was the idea of a 'schedule', a 'plan', a grasp of something more than just the accomplishment of keeping the baby alive through another day.
I really struggled and became somewhat depressed about not having the same 'rhythm' to my day before baby. I loved running around from morning to night getting things done. Then, boom. I was lucky if I showered. My level of expectations had to fall off a cliff. I remember desperately seeking advice from other moms and dads to see how they got through their days with a kid. The answer was always the same, "in these first few weeks, just enjoy life. Stare at your baby and rest. Sleep when she sleeps." I think I only managed to nap once when she was napping (out of sheer exhaustion from an all-nighter). Otherwise, it seemed unconsciounable that I'd throw quality nap time away. I needed those times to shower, eat, find a way to clothe myself with fresh underwear (aka laundry) and pick up the mess I made while she was awake. I remember crying to my sister asking how it all works out? How do you manage? She assured me it gets much better (her, I believed!), and that we'd all make it back to sanity (read: sleep).
Then finally, little by little, it did start to come together. Little victories like being showered and making dinner at the end of the day. Then adding a full load of laundry and grocery shopping. Then my sweet friend Heather dialed and what we call the "3 week intervention" happened, challenging me to get us packed up and out of the house. Of course, that day came, we got a shower and drove for a nice luncheon, but that was it. No dinner, no laundry, grocery shopping, etc. By now, it's not out of the question to do all of those things in one day. I've burned dinner 2 times, so it's not a perfect system. But alas, it's a system, and one that gets better each day. OK, maybe we're not that quick to improve, but at least each week.
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