Preparing for 2

We hit the last trimester today, in doing so, I am reflecting on how unprepared I felt when we brought Elizabeth home. Not physically or with tangible things, but with the "4th trimester".  Sleep deprivation, managing it all, feeding, clothing and cleaning myself, let alone another human being made for some tears, overwhelming and pure exhaustion. 

I thought it would never get easier, but here I am, relaxing over a hot cup of coffee, having given myself a pedi, finished 2 loads, put away groceries, ordered Christmas cards, researched photo stuff that I needed to find an alternate print lab, cleaned out the fridge, put up some Christmas decorations, cut the hair and strings off the underside of the vacuum spinner, eaten & showered (huge bonus!) and enjoyed a quiet moment as E sleeps. It did get easier - much to my own amazement. :)

So...with 2. I'm taking the survival approach. Whatever we need to do to survive. I hope my dear husband can live off crummy food, wrinkled (hopefully clean) clothes and a narcoleptic wife for a few months.  I really can't imagine having 2 kids to do everything twice though. I look around and see other people everywhere doing it (somehow).  I guess the lesson to print out for my wall and paste on every flat surface in my house is: "It does get easier...whether you believe it or not!"

Why I'm a bad blogger...

Around the 5 month mark, Elizabeth was playing while I was typing, likely blogging on the floor of our dining room. I pulled her onto my lap and she hurled onto the keyboard of the laptop.  I quickly threw her off my lap (ok, well not threw, but you can imagine) turned it upside down and blotted like there was no tomorrow. It seemed to salvage all of the keys, but I didn't dare turn it on or use it for fear of squishing regurgitated breastmilk further into some electrical board. 

Later that night, or the next day, I forget, we discovered that the "o" doesn't work.  We tried everything to no avail.  Dave developed his own shortcut by copying and pasting each time you need to type an "o"...I took it to Best Buy's Geek Squad and they offered the sweet estimate of $135 to send it out and then they would call to give me the price to fix it..."if they can". Nice, huh? So, since I make a habit of throwing $100 bills down the drain, we figured we'd save the dough and just keep doing the copy and paste for each "o". 

Thankfully, we have an iMac for photography work, but when I'm on it in the office, I feel like I'm slacking on post processing stuff, so I don't play on that computer, just this beat-up-freakizoid laptop that can't spell "Mom".

Excuses excuses. My New Years Resolution is to be better at marking the milestones and the daily life of my expanding family.

Lesson here: don't let your kid near your computer. Duh, Mom.

Baby Girl Update

Well, one of our biggest struggles recently was a nasty cold...she was pretty cheery through it all.  I finally caved after she wasn't able to breathe through either her nose and mouth enough to eat or drink.  I wasn't able to get any liquids into her, so I knew it was time.  Poor sweet child, she suffered really badly through this cold.  And it went on for 2 WEEKS!  She cleared up her nose on the 13th day, and we finished off the antibiotic for her bad ear infection that was starting to blister.  BAD MoM! I kept thinking she was teething or something!

I guess it pays to keep your Mommy intuition in check. :)

Mommy tip: don't stress about your kid feeling dependent on a pacifier - anytime they have a bad cold, you can help them kick the habit.  Logic here: they can't breathe through their nose, so they need to sleep using their mouths to breathe - thus, they can't breathe and suck on the pacifier.  They choose breathing. :)

Overdue

Wow - sorry for the overdue posting here - I'm going to have to make it short, since Ellie's on her way up from a nap. 

I realized it's been almost a month since I last posted!  Crazy. Quick synopsis of the big things that have come and gone:

• Trip to Germany and Austria (basically the reason I went missing on the blog for a month). Lots of funny stories from this trip that deserve their own post.
• Baby play dates that get so much better each week!  Because the 'play' date actually involves 'playing.'
• Dave has been shooting a LOT. So there's lots of post production that I need to get on - thus, my time normally spent blogging went toward my 'other job'. Which I enjoy just as much, albeit keeping me away from my fun social avenues. :(
• Switching rooms around in the house so that Ellie now has almost an entire room to be safe and play in.  I'm sure the commitment to the kid is much to Annie's chagrin, but it's nice that I can be in the kitchen and keep an eye on her destruction.
• David has been super Dad.  He took on watching Ellie all day yesterday from awakening to nearly  sleeping - he was exhausted when I got home and said, "I don't know how you do it every day." (HUGE GRIN HERE)
• She's started sleeping through the night!
• Nana visited and saved Mama on a few occasions.
• Oh yea, and we're pregnant!

All of these items deserve their own post, so I'll have to get on that!

Glad to be back!

xoxo

Today. I found out how strong I am.

Disclaimer: this post is not for the weak of stomach and should not be read within an hour of eating.
We were supposed to go to Connecticut to visit Annie's house. My Mom, Dad, Ellie and I were scheduled to make the trip today; but after a miserable weekend of teething and sleep deprivation, I had to make the decision to stay home.

Now what made this a particularly hard decision to make was that I've been struggling with feeling like a shut in recently. Elizabeth, as we just had diagnosed (thanks Heather!), had roseola. The fever was insane, but she's on the mend with the fever gone. Just the rash, which isn't contagious. Oh, and a fantastic bout of teething. All of this has turned our usually amulet sweet angel into a terribly cranky, achy, child at times wailing in searing pain. Yup, it's been a fun weekend. :) poor girl. So with having cancelled so many of our outings last week and putting just about everything on hold to comfort our baby, yes, I began to feel depressed. Because frankly, it was depressing! Who wants to feel sick! Shout out to Heather who felt the same way with Pippa's cold last week.

Alright, so back to the strength finding.

No Connecticut, but yes to a Wegman's trip in Mount Laurel. Also, we have had pictures at the adjacent Costco for almost 4 months. (I figured I should pick them up.) with an itemized shopping list, good spirits and sleepy baby, we headed out after our first nap.

About midway down 295, Ellie started smiling at me and being playful. I told her how much I love having my happy daughter back and singing to her in the rear view mirror.

I got a faint whiff of a number 2, so was thankful I'd added baby wipes to our shopping list. After pulling into a clutch parking spot, I was greeted with a huge grin and laughs as I opened the rear door. Ellie was returning to her giddy self, finally! Her face was covered in chunky orange goo. I thought, oh, poor baby! She threw up! And I quickly recounted what I'd fed her for breakfast. Oatmeal and applesauce. Hmmm... Not orange colored. Dreadfully, I looked down her body and discovered, to my horror, some of that same chunky orange goo peering out of her pink cloth diaper.

Oh. No.

It's poop. There's poop on her legs. There's poop on her arms, hands, feet, neck, mouth, eyebrows, eyelashes, up her nostrils, inside the ears, hair, sippy cup, pacifier. The carseat.

So rallying my senses and reminding myself to avoid breathing deeply, I grabbed the carseat, the diaper bag and my purse. The brisk walk to grab a shopping cart offered a lovely dripping from the carseat onto my right foot. Awesome.

A beeline down the baby aisle and snagging a box of diaper wipes, we were off to the restroom. We'd pay for them after. As we opened the bathroom door, I caught a glimpse of a woman in her Mid-eighties teetering toward the only handicapped stall, of course housing the changing table we were after. Most older women are so cheerful; sadly, this woman was as unhappy as she could be. She turned around to ask why I was allowed to bring my cart into the bathroom. She said her husband was waiting outside and they got into a fight because he wouldn't come into the restroom too. Then she asked me how old my baby boy was. (I mentioned she was in a pink diaper, right?) Ellie must've thought it was a ridiculous question because she showed her displeasure by (truly) vomiting on me. The older woman said, "oh, she just threw up on you." Ellie thought that assessment was equally dumb and vomited again. Now, with vomit running down the inside of my shirt, my arm, hands, and a baby smeared with poop, we watch the woman continue the inch by inch, foot, then cane, then other foot, then cane again move into the stall. I gave up, (judge all you want) and decided the sink was going to have to do.

Tearing open the box of wipes, I started with her face and hands, then tackled her body, then opened the diaper. The irony, the diaper didn't capture much of the poop, it was almost empty. Ha!

Finally cleaned up, the woman finally comes out of the bathroom stall, just as I'm dousing Ellie from head to toe in antibacterial lotion. (side note: it made me laugh when the same older woman walked out without washing her hands, but there couldn't have been anything dirtier than what we put into the trash can. Ha!). I scrubbed the carseat, bagging the clothes, diaper, pacifier and sippy cup. I wedged the carseat on the bottom compartment to air out while we shopped.

Ah, what do they say? Cleanliness is next to Godliness? At that moment it felt it! I marched over to the coffee bar and treated myself to a large latte. Yum!

For some reason, I felt surprisingly happy. I felt like if I could avoid vomiting, find remarkable patience and actually rouse some humor out of this, then I really can take on this motherhood thing.

Who knew I would discover my inner Mama strength in a ration of diarrhea? (dealing with the notion that my daughter may have attempted to consume her own feces? Well, I'll save that for another day.)

Going cloth...

We finally ran out of diapers - we've been incredibly blessed with generous family and friends who had outfitted us with diapers since she was born.  I was either going to have to buy new #3 diapers or go cloth.  I'd been avoiding going cloth because it seemed like a huge hassle and too much work.  Well with the addition of solid foods, we had firmer poop coming out, so it seemed like it might not be such a hassle anymore.

I had a playdate with Heather (my green-super-save-the-world-Mama-friend) and Pippa.  I was telling her that I might go cloth; she jumped on it and said she was planning to sell her extra bum genius diapers.  So I bought 7 of them.  Heather had 20 (I think?) and she felt 12 was enough for her.  I nabbed another 2 or 3 (I forget here too) from my sister who tried the same brand in the early days with my niece. (It became too difficult for her in a highrise apartment building with a shared laundry room.)  So there I was with my 10 or so cloth diapers ready to go.  I knew enough from conversations with Annie, Heather & Meghan that bum genius seemed to be the ideal brand since they can grow with the babies.  "G" diapers and others require you to buy new sizes each time the kids grow.  Bum genius allows you to snap the diapers into the right size for you. (see photo)

Well, we had an accident the first night - sad, but I had forgotten to add the extra nighttime layer too, so that could've been it.  Daddy watched the baby the 2nd night (I had my first girl's night in almost 3 months) and he put her to bed without switching a new diaper on (oops!) so we wet through that one too around 2am. Surprisingly, I've learned it's very easy to change a baby with a cloth diaper while nursing in the middle of the night. (For those imaginging me leaning over a changing table - please save yourself the brain strain.)  In the rocking chair, the cloth diapers just fold over the bottom.  They're soft and comforting so she isn't phased by it. 

Lessons learned here for the time being:  cloth diapering works great - for the daytime and for parents.  My Dad bought a box of #4 Huggies from BJs so we use them for nighttime and for babysitters (my parents). 

More Lessons: You MUST wash those cloth diapers before 24 hours.  They STINK if you wait. Which isn't the end of the world, but it can get 'stanky' if you leave it around. The sun works great to dry them out. :)

Real food!

Oh a new land for us!

I went back and forth on when to start her on food. People ask if she seems interested in eating. I'd mentally think, well, she's interested in directing everything to her mouth, so how can I tell?

ss a treat for my Mother in Law for our delayed Mother's Day, we introduced E to bananas. Her Aunt Molly smashed that bad boy up nicely and while Nana held her, Daddy took pictures and Aunt Molly fed her. Fed her is a nice way of putting it. She wasn't so sure what to do with the mushy cream stuff aiming toward her face on a shiny long thing. I'll consider it a success since she swallowed most of it. We tried banana again a few days later.

Now fast forward to how she acts today. As soon as the spoon comes out of the drawer, as soon as the tray slides into position, as soon as her Mom sits down in front of her with a bowl of something - it's on! Squeals, grunts, grabby hands and head thrusts toward the food begin. Don't take a break, don't be too slow in delivering and don't run out of food early. She will advise not too pleasantly her disdain.

She's an absolute riot to me. She loves everything; I'm going to put a running list of new foods on the side here.

Alert!

Moms,
Do not give your 5-month-old fruit juice. Apple, prune, pear, etc.
Love,
Previously Misinformed Mom

Apparently not pooping for 6 days isn't really a problem.

Not for adults, but for breast fed babies it's a milk production situation that works itself out. Who knew?!

The first time she hadn't gone in I think it was 4 days. I was driving home from my parents' house and frantically called Dave's cell. He was outside building a shed, so he wasn't able to get any of my 7 methods of communication. (voicemails, texts, screams-just kidding about the screams.) I was just begging him to go get prune juice for me to drink. He said I was yelling at him when I got home. I didn't think that I was, just merely talking loud enough so he could hear me over the wailing.

He encountered another Dad in the prune juice section who was all too happy to share some advice. He indicated that they gave their child prune juice, in a ratio of 2 (water): 1 (prune juice) as early as 4 months.  Since we were right at 4 months, David came home and shared the vast knowledge obtained in the juice aisle with his frantic wife. 

So we mixed up the potion and she gobbled it up!  Here's the hindsight.  The poor baby was HUNGRY.  I've since learned, and it makes perfect sense, that babies grow a lot around 4-5 months.  They need more food and so if they're being breastfed, the supply needs to crank up to meet demand.  When she's not pooping, it means she's not eating enough, which is also why she seems terribly upset and wails in stomach pain - it's called hunger.  I had no idea, so of course, I gave her more prune juice - which she continued to lap up (again, clearly hunger, but what did I know?!)  Then I learned part 2 of the prune juice encounter: gas.  It's the smelly stank of putrid. I kept mistaking the gas for her poop, but it wasn't so.  The poor child had awful gas.

Lesson Here: our bodies are meant to work - let them. :)

Ah, teething...

At first you tell yourself that there's no way. She's too young. It's too early.

Then you notice that she isn't eating as well and sometimes cries while nursing. She's been drooling for some time and everyone seems to be warning you that she's teething. So you ask other mom's who have had babies in this decade. They respond, "are her gums inflamed? Do you see the teeth coming through?" the reality is that first time Moms have never gone through this, so we haven't a clue what we're really looking for.

Then you watch as she grabs for things, draws them to her mouth and wails out in pain. Finally catching on here, Mom.

OK, it's teething. The drool, the poor nursing, the trouble sleeping and random crying is buttressed by noticing reddish gums and white bud looking shapes under the gumline.

Thanks to Becky Sechrist for offering her teething solution of frozen washcloths. These serve as fantastic replacements for the rapidly melting teething rings the stores hock.

And so it begins.

Gotta love it!

Life with a Plan

Hands down the biggest mental obstacle to tackle in those first few weeks of motherhood was the idea of a 'schedule', a 'plan', a grasp of something more than just the accomplishment of keeping the baby alive through another day. 

I really struggled and became somewhat depressed about not having the same 'rhythm' to my day before baby.  I loved running around from morning to night getting things done.  Then, boom. I was lucky if I showered.  My level of expectations had to fall off a cliff.  I remember desperately seeking advice from other moms and dads to see how they got through their days with a kid.  The answer was always the same, "in these first few weeks, just enjoy life. Stare at your baby and rest.  Sleep when she sleeps."  I think I only managed to nap once when she was napping (out of sheer exhaustion from an all-nighter).  Otherwise, it seemed unconsciounable that I'd throw quality nap time away.  I needed those times to shower, eat, find a way to clothe myself with fresh underwear (aka laundry) and pick up the mess I made while she was awake.  I remember crying to my sister asking how it all works out?  How do you manage? She assured me it gets much better (her, I believed!), and that we'd all make it back to sanity (read: sleep). 

Then finally, little by little, it did start to come together.  Little victories like being showered and making dinner at the end of the day. Then adding a full load of laundry and grocery shopping.  Then my sweet friend Heather dialed and what we call the "3 week intervention" happened, challenging me to get us packed up and out of the house.  Of course, that day came, we got a shower and drove for a nice luncheon, but that was it.  No dinner, no laundry, grocery shopping, etc.  By now, it's not out of the question to do all of those things in one day.  I've burned dinner 2 times, so it's not a perfect system.  But alas, it's a system, and one that gets better each day.  OK, maybe we're not that quick to improve, but at least each week.

Sleep patterns

Some things that new mothers are told seem crazy and wind up true. When I used to accuse Elizabeth of being on Beijing time zone, I was told that they eventually switch their days and nights around to reflect their parents'. And that it did.

The latest example of this: that babies self regulate their sleep cycles. With our attempts to start an earlier bedtime, I have to be honest and say that we didn't do anything differently except make sure we get a bigger overnight diaper and change her clothes while she's still awake. She has started shaving time off her old 10:30 bedtime to where we are now, with her fast asleep since 8:30 tonight. And she's done this all on her own.

Lesson: start believing in the nutty things other parents tell you.

Perspective

I've been joking that there's a giant trade-off at work.

Ellie seems to be more alert and stronger than her counterparts...but...she doesn't sleep as much.  The trade off?  She's awake more to work on the developmental skills.  She sleeps great during the day...not so long at night.  This, I blame on me for not keeping to a stricter schedule that she can count on each day.  I know she can do it - she did the 7.5 hour thing...once...(grin).  And she can do it again.

This is all right now, Lord knows it will all change and even out as the kids who've gotten good solid rest for a few months sprout right past our little bambina. 

Our biggest joy here is knowing that she doesn't seem to be suffering from any of the things that went wrong in the delivery room.  That low Apgar score doesn't appear to be reflecting any low intelligence, ability to learn, motor skills, etc.  And there is no book or compliment that calm us the way that simply watching our child grow can.  Thank You God.

The big picture?  She's healthy; she's gorgeous; she's sweet and smiley; she's definitely doing a great job at learning every day.  Parents can't ask (or deserve) much more.

Feeling incrediby grateful!

Watching Sports...

#2 Villanova was playing #8 Georgetown in Men's Basketball - so clearly a big game. E had been talking and laughing so much that she'd kinda slipped right past the start of her naptime. David and I were both trying to get her to sleep. She finally fell asleep in his arms, but then he had to go to the bathroom, and he passed her off to me. So of course, she stays asleep...and Villanova is pulling up from a 23 point defecit...and they're making 3 point shots...and they're hustling for rebounds...and refs are blowing calls...and I'm silently yelling at the TV and players to keep it up!!!

Lesson: put the baby to sleep in her own crib when watching sports.

Sickness & Blessings

Not sure why Mother-in-Laws get such a bad rap. I must've lucked out. And my daughter seems to know it too. She decided to let me get sick only once her Nana was here to take care of her full-time.

Around 2am last night, I was burping Ellie after a feeding and had this horrible sensation in my stomach. I'd already drank all of the water on the nightstand, so I carefully woke Dave and phrased the following, "I'm sorry to wake you, but I really appreciate you going to get tums for me." Figuring it was some lingering pregnancy heartburn, he slumbered down the hall to the office to look for the tums. Then something hit hard, and I was barely able to put Ellie down on the bed, sprint toward the bathroom, motioning toward our room past David and grunting her name. I tried to make it to the toilet, but those extra 2 feet, just weren't close enough, the shower curtain was also a victim. This went on for a few hours back & forth from the bed to the bathroom.

I came to the realization that I must be a Mom, since I didn't want David to check on me and leave the baby (for some neurotic reason). He did exactly what I wanted him to do - and what peace of mind. The next morning, he also explained to his Mum that I wasn't feeling well and talk about a reprieve! She was a Godsend! She did all the full-time mothering, except for nursing, then she'd let me go right back to sleep. It was so helpful. I cannot imagine what I'd have done without her here this week. Truly - cannot imagine it. God love the Mother-in-Law.

Mommy Dates

We went to childbirth classes (Bradley Method - focusing on natural labor & delivery) in Yardley.  We'd meet with 4 other couples in the home of the instructors.  The classes were good in prepping us, but there wasn't much time to mingle. 

We'd traded birth story emails and another mom, Heather had her baby, Pippa (short for Phillippa) a week before we had Elizabeth. 

Well, she just emailed me asking to get together - how exciting!!! We both feel rammy and need to 'test ourselves' in getting out.  We've planned lunch next week - can't wait!

"Hi Mary,
How's it going? I've been thinking about you lately. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling very cooped up these days and would love to get together. Pippa and I are willing to travel! Want to have lunch sometime next week?
Heather*"
The update:  here's a picture from my Mommy Date with Heather & Pippa.  First, Pippa is a doll and an amazing sleeper.  Elizabeth, on the other hand...my snacking, erratic sleeping, crying baby didn't put her best face on for our newest friends.  She pooped all over me (I tried to conceal my dismay).  Heather made a scrumptious cream of celery root soup with basil infused olive oil and a great turkey club on rye.  Um...yeah, I was lucky that I'd showered that morning.  

On my way back home, I phoned Annie for advice/support.

I guess this is my welcome to Mommy-hood-comparison-land.

Learning to Shower and Eat

My first attempt to shower was a bust.

I was able to get E down to sleep finally (yes, on my own) and not fear she'd wake up. But I was equally fearful that she'd somehow suffocate in my temporary absence, so I had her in her carseat, on the shower floor, then feared that she'd be too cold, so I put her kiddie coat on, then in the carseat, then with a blanket. (those bathroom floors can get chilly!) finally, I turned on the water and noticed that I hadn't plucked my eyebrows in almost 2 months, so I got to work on those, then I remembered to brush my teeth and put contacts in...as I was undressing, guess what?

She woke up.

Lesson: don't dilly-dally, Mary!